Time is on my mind

When I woke up this morning
I thought of time.
The sun was just beginning to peek
Above the horizon
And I wanted to know if I had slept too late.
Or was it much earlier than I thought?
How much of the day had I already used up?
I think ahead
About the minutes I have before I must sit at the computer.
Will I make my bed or watch the news?
Maybe some stretching for my tired back.
Deciding what to do with the time I have.
How many minutes until I must change my plan?
There are only so many minutes in a day.
Every day, it is the same.
But the minutes these days seem to linger.
They seem to have multiplied in a way
That makes it more challenging to face.
But it is not a doom or dread that faces me
More like hope and dreams of what could be.
Time has not multiplied for me
It has simply slowed down because
I notice more and I have no one expecting me.
With only myself to answer to
What is this voice saying?
Is it being kind and soothing?
Do I treat myself with compassion and understanding?
The time I see today brings promise but also procrastination.
I wait.
I am free to decide when to move.
What to do.
I watch the minutes pass. 
I watch with attention
To how I feel and the thoughts that enter my mind.
How am I relating to the time I have?
Do I befriend it or berate it?
Can I embrace it and not erase it?
With every pause, the moments pass.
Pause again but try to make the moment last
Longer
And longer.
Breathe in. 
Exhale.
The moment has passed.
But I feel better now.
Time has not escaped me.
I have become the time I tried to tame.
Time is mine and I am time.

Responses

  1. humbleswede Avatar

    Beautifully written. I have more time, now that I’m not a classroom teacher, but I still feel like weekends fly by. I liked these lines:

    Time has not multiplied for meIt has simply slowed down becauseI notice more and I have no one expecting me.

    They made me think. I’m in that same mode, but haven’t been able to appreciate the extra time…probably because I let my phone fill the gaps. I’d like to have the lingering time that you’re experiencing.

    Thanks for this poem. It was time well spent for me.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Giovanna Panzera (awritingjourney) Avatar

      This is my first year as a part-time teacher. After 20 years, I needed this change…and the time it offers me. Oh, but I hear what you’re saying about filling in the gaps with phone nonsense. Sometimes, I just want to throw it out the window!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Sherri S. Avatar

    This is a welcome meditation on time that truly resonates. “I notice more and I have no one expecting me.” Yes! How does our experience depend on our context including relationships, expectations and social structures? Thanks for this food for thought.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Ana Valentina Patton Avatar

    This is gorgeous writing, Giovanna! The ending felt so strong. I loved it!
    Also, I missed seeing your face on Thursday!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Giovanna Panzera (awritingjourney) Avatar

      Thank you, Ana. I’m happy it spoke to you in some way. I also missed seeing you on Thursday! Hope to see you next week! Happy slicing!

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Elisabeth Avatar

    I really enjoyed reading this piece and reflecting on the different ways we experience time. There is something really profound in how our experience changes when we can be present and noticing what’s around us.

    Liked by 1 person

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